The side effect of the drug that hits me hard that I am hoping to use to my advantage, is the weight loss. I went almost anorexic while on it. I stopped eating all together and never was hungry. I lost a lot of weight and felt good though. I don’t think it is healthy to not eat, but it will come in handy to not gain a ton of weight. I can force myself to eat and not become unhealthy but also use it as a tool.

I need to set a new quit date. It was suppose to be yesterday. I had a hard, hard time getting my Zyban. My insurance wouldn’t cover it and I ended up going through the quit line through my state they pay half and I pay half. $30mo for 3mo. I save $90.00 at the end of the 3mo on the Zyban and a lot on the cigs.

I think May 7th is going to be my quit date. It seems like a good date and far out enough the Zyban will be in my system good. I do have a cold starting though that is hitting my sinuses and my chest. If that festers more and becomes miserable I may quit early. It would be a good thing to use to stop faster. LOL

I am making an appointment with my doctor today. I want to go back on Zyban. I took it back in 2003 to stop smoking and it worked well, but I developed serious panic attacks. I had a irregular heart beat at the time and became cardiophobic. I felt jittery and struggled while on the drug. I got off Zyban and started to smoke again after 2 weeks of not smoking.

Why would I want to try it again? I took Wellbutrin (which is the same as Zyban) for several years as a teenager and it was the only anti-depressant that worked for me. The rest made me have bad side effects. Zoloft made me sleep all the time, Paxil made me almost lose my mind. I was like a manic bipolar on the shit. I did stupid shit on that and felt like I wasn’t in control. Prozac made me break out in a nasty rash. Wellbutrin I was on for a long time but it stopped working was the downfall. In 2003 when I went on it to stop smoking I thought I would have no problem.

I stopped smoking and stopped all caffeine at the same time. That was to much. I was stressed out really bad and as I said I had an irregular heart beat I was having problems with. In fact it was a night my heart went into a spasm fit and I ended up in the ER they suggested no more pop and Zyban. It seemed like a good idea until the anxiety came out with the irregular heart beat and me freaking out.

I have been to a cardio doc and figured out my irregular heartbeat. I do have early beats and if I am seriously stressed out, drinking a lot of caffeine and smoke a lot my heart will go to 200+ beats. I was doing that about once a year and finally skipped a year. My heart is normal and healthy. It helped me to know that to curve the cardiophobia I was dealing with. I was about to go see the doctor for medication for my irregular heart beat when I turned to the internet. PVCs as they are called are pretty common and even though they do not hurt they sure scare the hell out of you. Many people suggested taking vitamins and it stopped theirs. I had nothing to lose. I tried vitamins.

It stopped. A year now I have kept them away and it is rare I feel one. If I am very tired I may feel a few or if I miss two days of vitamins they will come back. I know it sounds crazy but it worked and I have found peace from the cardiophobia.

I am going to talk to my doctor about all this and try again. I do know that Kolonopin stopped the panic attacks so if the Zyban makes me freak out again I know what drug to make that stop. I even want to, if I have to take both medications for awhile. If it gets to bad I can always stop the Zyban. I just want to try again. The side effects are not the best and I don’t understand why I had them in 2003 when as a teenager I didn’t have any problems. I am willing to try again.

If he gives it to me I hope to start the same day and I will set my stop smoking date. The last time I stopped before my date no problem. This time I am ready too. I want to be smoke free before summer. I plan to journal about it!